1. |
The Catalyst
06:47
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You
You ripped it away
The child in me
The child has died
And now I’m alive
You
You’ve broken my mind
And took all I knew
And ended my life
And now I’m alive
You
You’ve opened my eyes
And changed everything
I bled out my heart
And now I’m alive
Oh, I want to thank you
You
You burned it all down
Revealed me true
And ruined the world
And now I’m alive
You
You ripped it away
The child in me
The child has died
And now I’m alive
Reborn through affliction
I suffer with joy
And you were the catalyst
Glorious dissection
Such beautiful pain
And you were the catalyst
Oh, I want to thank you
Thank you for this
Reborn through affliction
I suffer with joy
And you were the catalyst
Glorious dissection
Such beautiful pain
And you were the catalyst
You were the catalyst
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2. |
Idealism
06:03
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The world inside was magic and bliss
I Thought the world outside was the same
Pains me to say, perhaps it’s not this way
No, no
The world inside was pure wonderment
I thought the world outside was the same
Idealistical naïveté
When I was young life was full of opportunity
What I lived and what I dreamed were both the same
And everything that I touched would turn to gold
Safe and warm in the arms of my imagination
Kept away and sheltered from the dark out there
And everything would be alright, this I believed
Frightening and cold, there it waits for me
Won’t you rescue me?
Never growing old, stay the boy always
Won’t you comfort me?
The world inside was magic and bliss
I Thought the world outside was the same
Pains me to say, perhaps it’s not this way
No, no
The world inside was pure wonderment
I thought the world outside was the same
Idealistical naïveté
Everyday I’d explore possibilities
And every new experience was wonderful
And in the eyes of those inside I could do no wrong
The sun would rise and fill the room with inspiration
And I could be anything within my mind
No one said someday soon all this would change
Frightening and cold, there it waits for me
Won’t you rescue me?
Never growing old, stay the boy always
Won’t you comfort me?
The world inside was magic and bliss
I Thought the world outside was the same
Pains me to say, perhaps it’s not this way
No, no
The world inside was pure wonderment
I thought the world outside was the same
Idealistical naïveté
You know you’re such a fool
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3. |
Give Up On Me
05:23
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You had believed in me, put trust in what I said
And then I only let you down
So much potential gone to waste and thrown away
I am a failure, I’m a fake
You can say it’s all okay
But how can I earn your trust again?
You can say it’s all okay
But will you believe in me again?
Give up on me
I tried so hard, I got back up a thousand times
You always watched me get knocked down
You used to say I could do anything I dreamed of
And it feels so bad to prove you wrong
(And I’m so sorry)
You can say it’s all okay
But how can I earn your trust again?
You can say it’s all okay
But will you believe in me again?
Give up on me
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4. |
Why Do Anything?
05:11
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Morning, I wake up to more nothing
It’s not changing
Passion and desire have long since left me
Not returning
This pointless monotony consumes me
There’s no beauty
I’m aimless, and drifting, and I no longer care
Meaning now is worthless
And worth it has no value
And value’s lost its meaning
So why do anything at all?
The hopeless darkness of my future
Is never-ending
And all things I’ve done will be forgotten
And useless
This joyless repetition drains me
I’m on empty
And out of reasons, and I no longer care
Meaning now is worthless
And worth it has no value
And value’s lost its meaning
So why do anything at all?
Why do anything?
Meaning now is worthless
And worth it has no value
And value’s lost its meaning
So why do anything at all?
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5. |
The Antillectuals
06:03
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Oh, are you ready? We are the masses
Oh, won’t you stand up? We’ve got the numbers
Oh, don’t you want it? Time for succession
Oh, can’t you feel it? We are the standard
I’ve got no morals, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
My god is money, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
I am a whore, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
I offer nothing, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
We are the surface
We are the hollow
We are the generation of Antillectuals
Oh, are you ready? We are the masses
Oh, won’t you stand up? We’ve got the numbers
Oh, don’t you want it? Time for succession
Oh, can’t you feel it? We are the standard
I’ve got no morals, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
My god is money, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
I am a whore, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
I offer nothing, so look at me
(All eyes on me)
We are the surface
We are the hollow
We are the generation of Antillectuals
We are the worthless
We are the shallow
We are the generation of Antillectuals
I deserve it, and I’m worth it
the world by default owes me big, no need to earn it
Everyone loves me, I always get my way
It’s ‘cause I’m so damn beautiful and got so much money
Inebriation, it’s a state of being
I focus on the flesh, the biggest slut I can be
I ain’t shallow, I just keep it real
Just like me heroes on TV, they don’t get paid to think or feel
No men don’t cry, or fear, or feel empathy
It’s cool to be cruel, fuck your sensitivity
How can I be aimless? I’m better than you
Bigger house, better car and more kids than you too
Learning’s for fools, and smart kids are lame
Give me my six figure job, 140 characters of fame
So god bless America, and god bless everyone
Choke on our values, ‘cause we are number one!
We are the surface
We are the hollow
We are the generation of Antillectuals
We are the worthless
We are the shallow
We are the generation of Antillectuals
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6. |
Lust Complex
06:54
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A struggle in my mind, I’m pulled from up above
And from below
The animal desires, it’s begging for release
I can’t comply
To move beyond this urge, this petty human drive
I have tried
Sometimes I can’t control the sabotage in me
It’s hard to fight
I want to drown inside of you
But can I give in to lust?
Submerge myself in the physical
I want to give in to lust
Sexuality, I’ve tried hard to avoid
My complex
The flesh it calls my name, seduces me with lies
Will I decline?
This strange morality that keeps me all alone
Is it right?
Experience I shun, from pleasure I abstain
But I don’t know why
I want to drown inside of you
But can I give in to lust?
Submerge myself in the physical
I want to give in to lust
I want to drown inside of you
But can I give in to lust?
Submerge myself in the physical
I want to give in to lust
I wanna feel
I wanna give in to you
And I wanna know
And I wanna give in to you
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7. |
Codependent Duality
04:47
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Late at night there’s an aching in your room
And an emptiness outside that’s pushing you in
Drink it down, there’s another empty glass
But the emptiness you feel is steeping in you
Through the haze of the cigarette smoke
As you’re staring through the wall, you dread being alone
Anyone, anytime, anywhere, anything
That can fill what’s lacking in you
Will you ever be okay being just one?
Will you ever fight the need to be always two?
There’s a truth that you’ll never want to know
And the only real answer you will not hear
You live your life always asking who you are
What you want, how you’ll live and where you should go
Keep on running from the fear in that pristine globe
Shake it up and let it snow
You just can’t be alone
Codependent duality
And I’m almost sorry that you’ll never know yourself
(Afraid of what you are)
And I’m almost sorry that you’ll never know yourself
(Afraid of what you’ll see)
Late at night there’s an aching in your room
And an emptiness outside that’s pushing you in
Drink it down, there’s another empty glass
But the emptiness you feel is steeping in you
Through the haze of the cigarette smoke
As you’re staring through the wall, you dread being alone
Anyone, anytime, anywhere, anything
That can fill what’s lacking in you
Will you ever be okay being just one?
Will you ever fight the need to be always two?
There’s a truth that you’ll never want to know
And the only real answer you will not hear
You live your life always asking who you are
What you want, how you’ll live and where you should go
Keep on running from the fear in that pristine globe
And I’m almost sorry that you’ll never know yourself
(Afraid of what you are)
And I’m almost sorry that you’ll never know yourself
(Afraid of what you’ll see)
You just can’t be alone
Codependent duality
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8. |
We Don't Belong
05:38
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To all the lost children who only want to find their way
To all the little dreamers who haven’t lost their innocence
To all the visionaries for all the beauty you could bring
To all the strong believers in truth and purity
In this world we don’t belong
To all the lost children who only want to find their way
To all the little dreamers who haven’t lost their innocence
To all the visionaries for all the beauty you could bring
To all the strong believers in truth and purity
In this world we don’t belong
Fuck me for all of my passion
Fuck me for all that I’ve learned
Fuck me for trying to be happy
Fuck me for all that I love
Fuck me for all that I stand for
Fuck me for all my ideals
Fuck me for all that I’ve worked for
Fuck me for having a heart
Fuck me for all I believe in
Fuck me for all of my mind
Fuck me for all I’ve created
Fuck me for trying to succeed
Fuck me for all that I offer
Fuck me for how much I care
Fuck me for all I’ve imagined
Fuck me for being alive
In this world we don’t belong
Fuck me
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9. |
Mr. Everyman
04:51
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Mr. Everyman
Everything seems to go your way
And it pains me to compare
‘Cause I can’t trust my heart
I can’t trust my way
No, I can’t trust myself
Was I wrong?
Was I wrong, should I follow you?
You seem so happy
Mr. Everyman
It doesn’t take much to satisfy
And it pains me to compare
‘Cause I can’t trust my heart
I can’t trust my way
No, I can’t trust myself
Was I wrong?
Mr. Everyman
Nothing really seems to get you down
And it pains me to compare
‘Cause I can’t trust my heart
I can’t trust my way
No, I can’t trust myself
Was I wrong?
Was I wrong, should I follow you?
You seem so happy
I never thought I could sway
And I’m doubting my choice
Maybe traditional life
Could suit me
Mr. Everyman
The game of life just lets you win
And it pains me to compare
‘Cause I can’t trust my heart
I can’t trust my way
No, I can’t trust myself
Was I wrong?
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10. |
Becoming Human
07:40
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Here I stand
In condemnation
All for becoming human
Pain in every breath and guilt in each step that we take
Our days are filled with the anguish of nothing
Blame in every face and hate in the hearts of our friends and lovers
Does trust exist just for betrayal?
This hell of never ending time
Mistakes and wounds of fate
Replay the rest of my life
Wake up to despair and bleakness that fills up our cup
It overflows as we choke down more hope
Rape us from the start, this constant disorder will plague us
This infection of being alive
This hell of never ending time
Here I stand
In condemnation
All for becoming human
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11. |
Eulogy
04:21
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I’m just so tired of all the people
I’m just so tired of the world
I’m just so tired of awareness
I’m just so tired of being awake
I’m just so tired of always failing
I’m just so tired of losing hope
I’m just so tired of emotions
I’m just so tired of myself
And all the pain is starting to numb
And all my childhood memories slip away
There’s contentment for the very first time
And I close my eyes
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ENVINITY Denver, Colorado
Melancholy, Powerful, Introspective, Emotional, Melodic, Theatrical
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